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Saturday, May 24th, 2003
9:13 am - bye
eh guess what. i've decided to just move altogether.

Friday, May 23rd, 2003
6:28 pm - coherence
threehours is going to be my photography journal from now on. i've decided to keep it seperate. so, i mean, if you want the good stuff go there. if you want my rambling stay here. or both. or neither. or nevermind.
Thursday, May 22nd, 2003
9:14 pm - for all yr shaz=photographic needs
Wednesday, May 21st, 2003
10:57 pm - hello new camera!

they look slightly different from my normal style. learning curve is high. and by the way, her name is mimi xenakis.
Tuesday, May 20th, 2003
8:55 pm - joy!
well, i finally got my nikon coolpix 5700 and well, frankly, i'm a bit disappointed. the focus and exposure controls leave much to be desired. the evf doesn't show the finished exposure so my days of happy manual metering seem to be over but i think i'll find it much easier to go film eventually. fortunately, image quality looks excellent. once i figure out how to use it properly, i think the results will be much better than what you've seen so far.

it isn't the supercamera that i was hoping for but i guess it'll do :)
12:19 pm - international terrorisme
completely desynthesized to everything except the simple pleasure of listening to bruce springsteen and cuddling on buses. and not going to school. i never want to go to school again, i'd rather stay home forever. that place is like a cancerous growth on my soul, i swear.

hermitbird, the night market is back! i think, if i get my new camera by today, i'll go down and take photographs of it for you.
12:08 pm - show a little faith

good morning school-less day!
Monday, May 19th, 2003
7:41 pm - apology
my conscience is starting to bug me a little bit. i can't really maintain any sort of anger or dislike for more than three hours, it seems. i think i'll refrain from insulting people from now on. i'll only regret it later. i've got to learn the difference between the friendly bickering sort of fight and the non-friendly insulting sort of fight. they're both quite fun but there's really no need for the latter (or the former, come to think of it. i've got to find better sources of entertainment.).

unfortunately though, i really meant everything i said there so i don't think i'll take any of it back. all i can say is that, i'm sorry for holding such opinions of you. they're not likely to change but i won't come barging into your respective journals with them again anytime soon. also, sorry to everyone else who got involved. don't bother, really.
Sunday, May 18th, 2003
9:13 pm - fall
discussing the events of the day and the people of the day on the train ride home made me realise how much i love everyone around me right now. one in particular comes to mind. let me introduce you to one of the guitarists of hearing hill, martin.

"what do i think is beautful? i think... bright sunflowers shining under the sun."

mr martin liew was born twenty nine years and one day ago. he falls in love everyday but can't describe it. he makes himself happy by listening to music . he listens to what some people might not consider music at all. he has a guitar sound worthy of lee ranaldo. he loves freedom.

talking to martin is like listening to a john cage piece. one feels like one is walking in a large, dark arena where delicate piano notes sound at random intervals. martin plays his guitar with drum sticks but looks like he knows exactly what he's doing. martin has a spring drum which he shakes to make thunder sounds. martin is the avant-garde aesthetic personified.

it's so lovely to watch him play guitar because when he does, he is in possession of a strange unconventional grace which i can safely say belongs to him alone. i can't really describe it well so one day i will videotape it so you can see.

everyone has such strange and differing feels and what brings them all together is how heavy they are with soul. these are the people i want to know these are the people who want to know. all spirit. all desire.
12:02 am - i am mean shaz
the delirium of today has somehow transformed into a fuckload of antipathy. first against poetry then narrowly channelled into this. i can't help myself. i said this before to someone, "the internet is like a lightning rod for pent up angst". it sounded a bit pretentious then. tonight it sounds true.

went jamming with hearing hill today. one more week til drunkenness and music. carthasis and random screaming. and a good reason to interview the whole of i am david sparkle. excellent.
Saturday, May 17th, 2003
10:56 pm - suspend

go on, click it. a lot of good photos today.
10:46 pm - verbose
i guess a suitable phrase to describe how i feel would be "damn cock". fuck. i guess reading non-poetry is my equivalent of a violent passion surrogate. i can't explain what exactly i find so offensive about three quarters of the poetry i find online.

hang on, actually after reading poet (he does not piss me off, i think he's actually good) i think i can. poetry is not about fucking emotion. like all art, its about beauty. consider this. emperor shah jahan could have just as easily gone into a howling fit and commited suicide when mumtaz mahal died, but instead he built the taj mahal. and my brothers, you have to agree that a howling fit, unless a well choreographed and executed howling fit, is not art. therefore


there has to be some forethought, some intellectual effort to fossilise your emotion in the best, most aesthetic possible manner. even the most stream of consciousness type writers do this. they just do it quicker and they're not a stickler for details.
10:08 am - to all the singaporeans who want to buy my zine
i put two of my zines (+plastic horses) at velocet records, level three peninsular plaza (the one with la vanita, not the one with the camera shops). plan to stock it there, if possible.

go get em. you save a buck's postage.
8:33 am - list
poets i like




i'm a staunchly imagist kind of person. i'm much less attracted by cleverness or emotion than i am by stark images arranged in a tarot circle. hidden meanings should stay untouched.
Friday, May 16th, 2003
11:01 pm - mail
sent out wandering alone #2 to richie today! this is what issue two contains, by the way. the presentation of the entire thing is still somewhat lacking in style but i aim to remedy that in #3. doing this zine has made me discover that i have an amazing amount of stories to tell. also to be made is a print version of oh. #1 is also still available for order but a lot of it can be found here and my old online journals. it looks prettier than #2 though. anyway, on to the!

contents of issue two

wall (travel)
waiting for the man (play)
fish: chapter one (fiction)
175 (travel)
war photography (fiction)
the lessons of pak ah bee (travel)


today's mail = mixtape from mr thomholand and pretty hello kitty stickers on an envelope from highalive. thank you!! mr thom i'm mailing you a special disc for special listening as soon as i am able. i printed six copies of the zine today and i'm all out. this makes me really happy.

current mood: grinny
6:17 pm - marmalade is the secret ingredient

greeting the morning with 05 and a bowl of porridge.
6:16 pm - list
some of my favourite albums

born to run - bruce springsteen
mekanik destrucktiw kommandoh - magma
confusion is sex/kill yr idols - sonic youth
six - mansun
unicorn - t rex
13 above the night - my life with the thrill kill kult
the complete stone roses - the stone roses
shakti with john mclaughlin - shakti with john mclaughlin
closer - joy division
sister - sonic youth
loveless - my bloody valentine
dirty - sonic youth
five leaves left - nick drake
seventh son of a seventh son - iron maiden

(...to be continued)
5:57 pm - waterfall
what an utterly surreal experience. listening to where angels play and cupping your face in my hands. twin stars in a long lost bus seat.

"okay let's fly she said this carpet's made for two"

it felt like being inside love.
Thursday, May 15th, 2003
11:32 pm - cryptic
i'm so masochistic. haha! and i'm not looking for sympathy so please don't post nice comments to try and make me feel better. do post links to other communities where its easy to get flamed. or flame me. post really mean comments! haha!

i'm in a kind of zen kind of mood.

good night.
8:02 pm - road
you can say the sun is shining if you really want to
i can see the moon and it seems so clear
you can take a road that takes you to the stars now
i can take a road that will see me through
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